Nov 29, 2022
New Blood-Soaked Holiday Releases
If you’re like me, you’ve already started watching your favorite holiday movies. In fact, as I’m writing this article, I’m giggling at Chevy Chase while watching National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. It’s been a top favorite of mine ever since I first laid my eyeballs upon it in all of its hilarious glory. But this article isn’t about that movie. It’s about some other new holiday movies releasing this month … holiday horror flicks. And in terms of movies, and to quote Cousin Eddie, "the shitter's [indeed] full" ... of blood, with all the new horror titles releasing in December.
First up is Curse of Jack Frost, which dropped on VOD Nov. 1. Frost is a bit of a demon in this British holiday cinematic offering, and he will stop at nothing this Christmas to exact his vengeance on those left in the bloodline. He terrorizes a family and must learn their family’s dark secrets that link to why they’re cursed. Check out the trailer below:
Next is Violent Night, which hits theaters this Friday, Dec. 2. I’d love to be able to tell all you streamers out there, who now prefer to stay home for movies (like me), that this one is also streaming somewhere on the same day, but no such luck. At least not yet. It will, of course, be available to rent at some point, but that date hasn't been announced. My advice is if you wanna see it now, it’s back to packed theaters full of smacking, slurping, coughing, snotting, sneezing people.
The film has been anxiously awaited by many since its trailer dropped about a month or so ago and is from Director Tommy Wirkola (Dead Snow movies, Hansel & Gretel). Starring David Harbour (Stranger Things), John Leguizamo (John Wick), Edi Patterson (The Righteous Gemstones), and Beverly D’Angelo (by the way, my decision to watch Christmas Vacation as I wrote about Violent Night because Beverly D’Angelo is in both was completely unplanned and I’d forgotten she was even in Violent Night until this very moment. I love when that happens.), It’s a horror-action dark comedy that’s a twisted take on the milk-and-cookies-and-presents Santa Claus we all know.
When an elite team of mercenaries breaks into a family compound on Christmas Eve, they get way more than they expected after taking everyone inside hostage. Also, Santa is there to do his thing … and he straight whips everybody mercenaries' ass in what looks like some pretty badass fight scenes. This Santa is no saint, and he’s about to expose why. Take a peek:
I gotta say, this movie looks like one hell of a good time, no matter where you watch it. I’m all in!
Then there’s Christmas Bloody Christmas! This little independent number features a Christmas Eve where fiery record store owner Tori Tooms just wants to get drunk and party, until the robotic Santa Claus at a nearby toy store goes haywire and makes her night more than a little complicated. Santa embarks on a rampant killing spree through the neon-drenched snowscape, ultimately forcing Tori into a blood-splattered battle for survival. The film is set to release on Shudder on Dec. 9. Watch the trailer here:
And lastly, The Mean One--and I gotta say it looks pretty awesome. I love fx makeups, and this one is incredible. A slasher comedy directed by Steven LaMorte (Bury Me Twice), this Grinch teases a dark side. A very dark side. Unlike the other adaptations of the Doctor Seuss classic, this one is an unauthorized parody of the story, mean they didn’t acquire the rights. Due to the lack of permissions, the creators had to be extra cautious to avoid using any language or names taken directly from the book. It’s clear that this Grinch will be a very far cry from any previous versions … it’s a spoof.
The setting is a sleepy mountain town, where a girl named Cindy has her parents murdered and her Christmas stolen by a blood-thirsty green figure in a red Santa suit—The Mean One. When this ravenous, Christmas-hating creature begins to terrorize the town and threatens to ruin the holiday, Cindy finds purpose in trapping and killing the monster. The Mean One drops next Friday, Dec. 9 AND, streaming friends, you’re in luck with this one. As a gift to all horror fans this holiday season, this flick drops everywhere on Dec. 15. Watch the trailer below:
I happened to stumble across this one by chance, and no way I’d miss telling you guys about it. Another independent horror-comedy slasher, this one puts a psychological spin on the classic story of Santa Claus, Mrs. Claus, and, of course, the reindeer. Here are the deets on Christmas Slasher: as the holiday season rolls in, a murderous zombie reindeer wreaks havoc on the small town of Vixen, Minnesota. Local townsfolk are viciously attacked and killed, and even the hunters become the hunted. Then the film shifts forward ten years after the murders and centers around Alita Claus, when she and a group of her best friends from college decide to spend Christmas break in a cabin deep in the woods (and we all know what happens in cabins “deep in the woods”). The zombie reindeer is still on the loose, along with now-psychotic-monsters murderous couple Mr. and Mrs. Claus. Here’s the trailer, but an actual release date is yet to be announced and is projected for some time in December. Keep an eye on your favorite platforms.
There are, of course, many other holiday horror titles streaming this month, so visit your favorite places and see what’s in store. And always check your VOD titles, especially if you're an AppleTV user. They have some great categories and recent discoveries with little gems everywhere. Be sure to stock up on candy and popcorn before you get to watchin’!
And if horror isn’t your thing, be sure to check out my list of non-holiday comedy recommendations, definitely guaranteed to have your face hurting from laughing so much.
Enjoy, my friends.
Questions or comments?
Email Keeley at email@example.com