Mar 17, 2023
This B-horror movie is so bad, it's B-movie gold
There are bad horror movies, and then there are so-bad-they’re-good horror movies. Ah, yes, the never-ending cesspool of B-horror movies. Some of us love them, and some of us hate them. And if you're in the vein of loving them, there are plenty for that. These days, there are so many B-movies out ther, one can get lost in the movie void when trying to figure out which ones are worth watching and which ones are worth skipping. But alas, have no fear, Zeke is here! I’m gonna wade through the B-movie junkyard so you don’t have to. Equipped with my high tolerance for bad acting, stupid plots, and excessive gore, I’m the perfect man for the job. Even my editor says so.
This week we are kicking things off with an all-time favorite of mine and my fiancée’s called The Suckling. Directed by Francis Teri (Flesh Eating Mothers, 1989—another great B-movie), this gem hit the horror scene on September 24th, 1990. The movie stars people you’ve probably never heard of as well: Geral Preger, Marie Michaels, Lisa Petruno, and Janet Sovey … anyone? ANYONE? Yeah, I didn’t think so.
One of the things that makes this movie so great is that it absolutely takes itself seriously. In fact, in the opening credits, the director tries to make us think this is based on true events. What are those events and what is the plot of this movie?
I’m glad you asked. Brace yourselves.
Also known as Sewage Baby, the story follows a young couple in need of an abortion. The girl isn’t so sure about it but the boyfriend? He’s all in.
However, because of the taboo surrounding abortion, they are looking to try and take care of things in a discrete and cheap manner. And man, do they ever … they strike gold!
The couple finds a brothel with a lady named Big Mamma, who happens to take care of such kind of needs. And, oh man, let me just tell you that the opening scenes taking place in this brothel are, well, absolutely trashy, completely offensive, and downright hilarious.
The couple decides to go through with the abortion, and this is where things get loco. The fetus terminated in the operation is the largest, nastiest amalgamation of flesh imaginable. Then, like every good B-movie, toxic waste gets involved (think Toxic Avenger meets aborted baby). The dead fetus gets chunked down the sewer. which happens to be full of some sort of toxic waste. The waste mixes with the fetus, brings it back to life, and transforms it into this mutant-like creature that grows at an exponential rate.
The beast is actually pretty cool-looking, despite the low budget. It has these razor-sharp teeth reminiscent of the creatures in Feast, along with flesh-serrating claws, as well as a special skill of attacking and killing people with its umbilical cord. There are also some great, low-budget kills with blood that looks like it was watered down to make it go farther, but it works.
To make things more interesting, the toxic fetus has a weird superpower. It is somehow able to wrap the entire outside of the building with a supermassive placenta. This traps everyone inside the brothel, allowing them to get picked off one by one. And don’t expect to care about any of the characters. They are all stupid, one-sided, and there just to be killed.
Yes, this movie is every bit as crazy as it sounds—there’s even a wire hanger scene! Yikes. So, gather your Pro-Life and Pro-Choice friends for a watch party, and let the insanity begin!
Zeke gives this one 5 out of 5 toxic fetuses.
You can find The Suckling streaming on Tubi and Amazon Prime.
Ezekiel Kincaid lives for horror and loves to watch it, write about it, and talk about it, whether that be in his own novels or in reviews. His experience as both a pastor and a paranormal investigator bring everything he writes to life. Want him to review something specific? Send an email to email@example.com.